What to do when your family won’t eat healthy

Food is big part of our lives and our society. Many different ways of eating have started gaining traction in the last several years: vegetarianism, vegan, Atkins, paleo, primal, keto, Mediterranean….The list goes on.

You may have decided to change your way of eating but others in your household (spouse, significant other, children, roommates) are not on board with that. When we live with others who do not share our philosophy on food, it can become divisive.

So how can we deal with the struggles of different ways of eating (WOE) in a way in which all parties can be happy?

Explain/Express Yourself

Family With Baby Meeting Financial Advisor At Home

  • If you are contemplating changing your WOE, it is important to have a discussion with your significant other/children/other household residents. Sit down and explain WHY you are contemplating this change. Is it because of a moral issue, like the ethical treatment of animals? Is it a health concern, such as the doctor recommending not eating as many refined carbohydrates at your last appointment?
  • Let the others in the house know that you are making the change for you and while you are not going to demand that they change all of their own food habits, it’s important for them to respect your decision. Explain that this is something that you need to do to reclaim your health.
  • Be open about stumbling blocks. If a household member is bringing home fast food and that is a temptation for you, ask if they could eat their food elsewhere, as opposed to bringing it home. Let them know that while you are not necessarily requiring them to change their habits, you do need their support to change yours.

No Judgment

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  • If others in your house are not eating the same as you, it is important to not shame or judge them for their choices. That will make them less likely to ever change. The best thing to do is to make your changes and be an example.
  • Talking about your food beliefs in a positive light is more beneficial than knocking someone else’s.
  • Frame statements in a positive light and from your perspective. “I’ve notice my skin has really cleared up since I’ve given up dairy!” as opposed to “Your acne is probably caused by the greasy foods you’re always eating.” You-statements put people in a defense mode, while I-statements generally make people more open or curious.

Make modifications

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  • Instead of making a brand new crazy menu all at once, make smaller changes. Too much change all at once can be intimidating.
  • A great way to start is to make family favorites but in a healthier way. You can make burgers for everyone in the family but just leave the buns off of your own.
  • Mashed potatoes can be a great comfort food; you can make them with a blend of potatoes and cauliflower, or even sweet potatoes and cauliflower.
  • A pan of roasted veggies with homemade ranch dressing (without all of the industrial oils and sugar!) make a great addition. And most foods taste better with ranch!
  • If you are the primary meal planner/cook in the household, you will have control over what everyone else eats. Compromises can be struck. If others in the household are not interested in changing, maybe they can assist with cooking the foods that they want to keep in their diet that you will be eliminating. Maybe for the primary cook it’s not too much extra work to make an extra side or some ingredient that can be easily incorporated into the meal.

Find a community

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  • These days we can create a virtual community of people from around the world thanks to social media. Odds are that you can find a Facebook community or Instagram account for any WOE you desire. It’s great forum in which to share recipes, articles, and tips with others who share your food values.
  • Talk to people you know in real life: people in your neighborhood, church, workplace, gym, etc. Who knows – maybe someone in your office is in a similar predicament and is also looking for support. You can start your own support/accountability group.

Make it fun

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  • Get the kids involved! Watch YouTube cooking videos and then try out the recipe. Teaching them good nutrition habits and how to cook, especially when they are young, is so important.
  • Try introducing one new food a week. Make a game out of it with your kids – have them make suggestions of what new food they would like to try and each week try out one from the list.
  • When you do introduce new foods, present it like a fun experiment, not something that MUST be eaten. Demands of children are often met with obstinance, while the option to try one or two bites being encouraged is often more inviting.

Have a game plan

Group Of Friends Enjoying Evening Meal In Restaurant

  • If you’re joining friends at a restaurant, look at the menu online beforehand. You can check out your options ahead of time and decide what you will order there. Or maybe you decide that you will eat a meal at home prior to meeting up with friends and just opt for an appetizer. While food is important in our culture, so is simply spending time with good friends and family. Focus on the social experience you are having and not on what you might perceive you are missing out on.
  • It’s okay to eat before going to other social gatherings if you are not sure exactly what will be available for you to eat or simply because you want to be full in order to resist temptation.
  • You can still join the work gang for happy hour and just order sparkling water with lime.
  • Potlucks are a great way to eat with a group of friends but still have some control over what you eat. You have the control to bring a dish to share that you can eat and introduce something new to your friends.

Be prepared for people to question your choices

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  • Be strong. People within your circles, be it family, friends, or work colleagues, will question what and why you are doing what you are doing.
  • Have a short answer ready. You don’t have to get into a philosophical debate at that moment. A simple “I don’t really feel like drinking/having dessert/etc.” should hopefully suffice. People sometimes are critical of issues regarding health because it makes them self-conscious in some way of their own behaviors/habits/issues and can read a positive change in another’s behavior as a personal attack on their own, whether this is done consciously or not.
  • Be open. There will come a time when people are genuinely curious and interested in your “why” and how to do what you’re doing. This is the time to share with them the details.

Keep on your journey to great health! Focus on what you are gaining (confidence, more energy, clearer brain functioning) and appropriately losing (weight, joint pain, lethargy). As others see your improvements, they will hopefully be encouraged on their own journey.

 

Presence not Presents

It is that glorious time of the year where we pack lots of social events, family time, cooking, baking, eating, shopping, wrapping, running around… into 6 weeks.

This year, maybe you can do something different. Slow down. Don’t focus so much on presents as presence.

Start some new family traditions.

Clean out the toy box or the closets and have your children help you take the items to a charity for donation. Teach them that just because they are done loving their stuffed bear doesn’t mean that another child won’t love it just as much. The way I explained it to my kiddos when they both still believed in Santa was that by us donating their old toys, moms and dads who want to buy gifts for their kids but maybe cannot afford brand new things, can buy these things to make their little ones happy.

Take nature walks or discover geocaching, which is basically a modern day treasure hunt.

Watch science experiment videos online and then perform them together (with proper safety precautions, of course).

Watch the home videos your parents took when you were a child. Our children love seeing us at our awkward stages in living color.

Make hot chocolate or tea and sit and have a conversation with them, especially if they are at an age where they still like to talk to you and even more so if they are in those difficult teen years where they don’t talk to any adult.

When the littles ask you to play an imaginary game, do it, even if it’s five minutes. You will only have so many more chances. Turn things like making dinner into a game. I call it cooking school. We put on our aprons and the girls do what they can according to their ability, usually really easy meals.

As a stepmom, I get less time with my two girls than a full-time parent, so I really need to make my time count. Some mornings it’s hard to pry the electronics out of the kids’ hands (and let’s be honest, sometimes my own) but once I am successful, the girls always have fun when we spend time doing something together. And I really value the time with them.

In terms of presents: Sure, you may have bought your children forty gifts each last year and might feel the need to surpass that this year. But if you don’t, your kids will live. A few years ago I saw this on Pinterest and I love it.

 

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https://moneysavingsisters.com/4-gift-christmas-challenge-want-need-wear-read/

 

Our culture is driven by mindless consumerism and meaningless materialism. It took me getting out of a lot of credit card debt to have my eyes opened, but this topic is for another blog post. As one of my heroes Dave Ramsey says, “more is caught than is taught”. Your children learn by watching what you do, not what you say. You remember that anti-drug PSA from the ‘80s…

 

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Anyway, just some thoughts on that. We just had the girls at our house for the past week and it’s always a little sad the day or so after they go back home. I am just feeling a little sentimental.

 

New Beginnings

Hey everyone! Welcome to my brand new blog! This is my first blog post EVER so go easy on me. I will be posting weekly articles, mainly on health and fitness, but also just my thoughts. Please feel free to comment or to share but keep it relevant, PG, and KIND!!

A lot of you may have heard/read my story already but for those who are just meeting me, here it is. The long version.

I was always the kid who hated gym class growing up; I was a bookworm. I can remember watching the batters during the baseball unit in elementary school and figuring out that the odds were that most kids were right-handed and would hit the ball out by third base and that the couple of lefties would hit the ball near first base. I would always position myself past first base. Nerd.

As a teenager, I can remember my mom saying (in the mid ’90s) that white sugar and white flour were horrible, blah blah blah. I would roll my eyes and say “Yeah, sure, whatever.” That was my most used phrase as a teen. (Heaven help me as my [step]daughters are approaching their teen years.) We never ate fast food or pop. In college, despite finding both of those food groups, I didn’t gain the dreaded “freshman 15” and I learn to cook occasionally in my senior year house.

Fast forward to 2008 when I moved from Cleveland, OH to San Antonio, TX. I was truly on my own for the first time ever at 28. As most single people do, I would get fast food more than just occasionally and sometimes dinner was a bag microwave popcorn (when you’ve been teaching/moming all day after 10 little ones with special needs, it’s really hard to take care of yourself). I was part of a women’s Bible study group and one of the studies we did was on the Proverbs 31 woman, how a Godly woman should be. I will never forget this moment – one of the chapter was on nutrition and I remember saying “I think this chapter is silly. God doesn’t care that much about what we eat!” I thought it was just ridiculous.

A few months later, we did the Beth Moore study on Daniel and she suggested to do the “Daniel fast” to get more out of the study. Well, it was right as Lent was starting, and even though I am not Catholic, I like the practice of restricting things in the pursuit of a higher purpose. The Daniel fast, if you are not familiar, is based on what Daniel and his friends told the Babylonian king they wanted to eat during Israel’s time of captivity. So basically fruits, vegetables, legumes, and herb/spices and only water to drink. So no meat, dairy, sugar, alcohol or fats. I did this for forty-six days of Lent.

It was hard. But I realized that it made me more intentional about what I was eating. I couldn’t just pick up a meal at Chick-Fil-A or a frozen dinner or a bag of popcorn. When Lent was over, I decided to become a vegetarian. At the time, I hated a lot of green vegetables so this was a surprise to my family. But as I tried new foods, I found that I actually liked some of them, such as asparagus, quinoa, and couscous. I was a vegetarian for about two years.

Then I met the man who is now my husband. He was not a vegetarian. As our relationship progressed, I realized that it would be very difficult do maintain two different eating styles so I stared eating meat again. After we got married, I swore we would not be the couple who gained weight after marriage. We had just finished training for a half marathon together and were active people (or so I thought).

I joined an outdoor boot camp called Camp Gladiator and would go to camp 2-3 days a week after work but would skip if plans came up with friends. School was back in session. After about 8 months of working out, CG ran what was called “Total Transformation”; a body scan to tell you your weight, BMI, and percentage of body fat. I signed up and was SHOCKED at my results. I was the heaviest I had been in my entire life. I knew I had had to buy increasingly larger pants over the school year, going up two, almost three, sizes, but I did not realize how bad the situation was. According to my BMI, I was borderline obese. And in serious denial. As part of Total Transformation, I started recording what I was eating in the MyFitnessPal app. Through this, I realized I was eating a TON of empty calories.

I knew I had to change my ways fast. I cut out extra, mindless eating. I eliminated fast food and pop. I started getting serious about working out and started going every morning before work. And the weight started coming off!! I kept going and improving my eating habits. I cut out wheat products and cut back on dairy. Kept losing weight.

Then, in January of 2017, my husband, Tim, got serious himself about wanting to lose weight and I suggested we do the Whole30 diet. All I knew about it was that my sister and brother-in-law had done it the previous year and it was a little difficult. As I researched what it actually entails, I was really intrigued by it. I saw the 30 day restriction as a challenge that I wanted to accept. As I had done the Daniel fast a few years prior, I knew I could do this no problem.

We started on February 16, 2017. We had our “last meal” at this amazing Italian restaurant for Valentine’s Day and then our leftovers the next night. I will save our Whole30 experience for another blog post, but by day 30, both my husband and I were convinced that THIS was how we wanted to eat for the rest of our lives. Through my in-depth research through such acclaimed health outlets such as Pinterest, I found the paleo diet. It’s basically how our Paleolithic ancestors ate – some meat, lots of veggies and some fruit, with the modern conveniences of healthy cooking fats and coffee were allowed. Thank you, Jesus, for coffee.

In May 2017, I attended a Paleo conference in Austin. It was there that I was introduced to the Primal Blueprint way and its champion, Mark Sisson. Primal is more of a way of life. Its eating principles are similar to paleo, with a few tweaks, and also focuses on how you live the rest of your life. Tim and I stick to Primal eating about 90% of the time, but occasionally we allow ourselves to eat other things, like in our favorite vacation destination, Vegas, or if we go out to eat with friends. But those instances are becoming more and more infrequent. We find that when we don’t eat Primal, we feel bloated and just generally sick. But again, more on that in future blog posts.

Now as a mom, I have taught my kids about Whole30 and Primal. Our favorite movie quote is from “Hotel Transylvania 2”: “And what’s the scariest monster of all, kids? Diabetes!” The little one calls sugar “the white devil.” And I have realized that my mom DID know what she was talking about two decades ago (goodness, I’m getting old!) when she was extolling the evils of sugar and flour. I realize now that God, our loving Heavenly Father, DOES care what we nourish our bodies with, just as a loving earthy father should.

So that’s it. That’s my journey from eating a SAD diet (Standard American Diet) to intuitively finding Primal. It’s been a really good journey for me so far and I know it will continue to be. I hope you join me as I continue on and that maybe you will find the information that you need for your own journey.